Last week was my first full week of work this year, and Monday was tough. I woke up physically well-rested and ready, but my mind was… not in the mood. From eyes-open, my mind was delivering a comically-enthusiastically-worst version of my inner monologue – sour, pessimistic, cynical, dreary.
I flip back and read my old journals every now and then. And in the periods when I was in deep depression, I can recognize myself, like an old friend. But can’t relate to those feelings in the same way. It’s very past-tense. My mindset is so different now from those years living in an emotional fogbank. At some point I decided – more or less – that I was done with it, and as I found my way out, I grew an important skill: knowing when to ignore myself!
So that was Monday: my inner voice had a lot to say about how miserable he was. But these days it’s easier to say, “cool story, bro, but we have things to do”. That sour version? I can wait him out while I move on with my day. A bit of keep-busy here, some mindless scrolling there, an attentive version of “going through the motions”, and counting on a night of sleep to wash it all clean. Worked like a charm, Tuesday was lovely.
Art
Reminiscence of a Cathedral, oil on canvas by František Kupka. (Interesting to compare with the Norman Lewis cathedral from 2024 week 52.)
Torso of a Young Man, sculpture in colored plaster by Raymond Duchamp-Villon.
Benin/Edo crest mask in copper alloy and iron.
Harrowing woodcut block print by Wharton Esherick.
Small Town by Day (Badische Kleinstadt bei Tage), oil painting on board by Georg Scholz.
Running
I finished running every street in another neighborhood. At least, where I drew my boundaries for one – the Lefferts/Flatbush area between Empire, Parkside, Linden, and Utica.
That last run was a very “thinky” one, similar to my Monday experience. Temps were in the mid-20s, strong winds, and I was just tired. I had to fine-tune what I paid attention to in my body, balancing exertion to make progress and stay warm vs. overheating that leads to sweating and chills.
And same for my mind, starting out with a steady stream of “I don’t want to go. Is this worth it? I’m tired. This is boring. I could turn back – it will be here next weekend. Etc.” That was the first two-thirds of the run. And then it flipped. Suddenly I was 2 or 3 miles from wrapping up a months-long goal, new wind in my sails, and the jog home felt easier than when I first stepped out. The mind is a funny thing.
I also took accidental pocket photos.
Books
Middlemarch. I’m loving how detailed the characters are. We understand their mannerisms, their differences in speech, what they say, their own thoughts on what they’re saying and reacting to. Eliot uses the omniscient perspective well. I’m charmed, hope it keeps up. Perhaps I’ll share some quotes every now and then…
- “Sane people did what their neighbors did, so that if any lunatics were at large, one might know and avoid them.”
- “The mere idea that a woman had a kindness towards him spun little threads of tenderness from out his heart toward hers.”
- “We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, “Oh, nothing!” Pride helps us; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide our own hurts-not to hurt others.”
- “Brooke is a very good fellow, but pulpy; he will run into any mould, but he won’t keep shape.”
- “He was gradually discovering the delight there is in frank kindness and companionship between a man and a woman who have no passion to hide or confess.”
- “His efforts at exact courtesy and formal tenderness had no defect for her. She filled up all blanks with unmanifested perfections.”
Articles & Episodes & Twoots
What could we gain if adults reclaimed the freedom to play?
“Now I think the best response to losing is to take it as easily as possible. Maybe not enjoyment, but bemusement if you can manage it.” Reminded me of Hawks player Larry Nance Jr. on staying balanced after wins and losses: “An old saying one of my vets taught me was, ‘What do we do with shit? Flush it and move on.’ […] Always, the most important game is the next one.”
Photographs of Snowmen (1854–1950). What a lovely collection.
Untouched Policy Areas: Pre-packaged ideas for the budding wonk.
“The boomerask starts with someone asking a question, but—like a boomerang—the question returns quickly to its source.”
“Demand for apprenticeships is outpacing their availability.”
“Requiring students to take general courses to demonstrate competencies that AI can replicate serves no educational purpose. The university’s role in the AI era is teaching students how to participate individually in knowledge creation, not just knowledge consumption.”
“Websites will be increasingly aware that they’re being consumed by AI, and they will have a vested interest in messing with the way AI ‘perceives’ them.”
Technical writing predictions for 2025.
“This is your update about getting by as a visitor to a China that has tried to remove all cash from daily life“.
I like Notion’s face-maker. A self-portrait, as of January 2025:
Music
I spent most of my time with a couple more from Blood Incantation (picking up from 2024 week 50)…
- Timewave Zero. Loving this album – relaxing, dreamy, drony, ominous ambient/electronic drifts.
- Hidden History of the Human Race. Start contrast: very not-relaxing, nightmarish metal riffs and guttural screams. The range!
SML, Small Medium Large. Exploratory… jazz? Electronic? Whatever you can do with bass, synthesizer, saxophone, percussion, and guitar, you’ll find it here. It’s cool!
The Durutti Column, Fidelity. I have a hard time situating this album in 1996. Maybe with so much of the band’s history in the ’80s, it’s impossible not to have some of that sound carry on with them. I like the submerged feeling of “Grace“.
Ajate, Dala Tuni. High-energy afrobeat. I love the buzzing marimbas in “Waya Yawa“.
Movies
Foe. Kind of clunky. It has an interesting concept strangled by weird choices. At first I thought the method was roundabout Malickian dreaminess, but later concluded it’s just… bad construction. The leads are supposed to be sad and torn, but they come off as inconsistent, wooden, and a little insane. Aaron Pierre is a compelling presence, thought, so I’ll move Rebel Ridge higher on my watchlist.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Hormones are raging at Hogwarts! Continues the darkness from #3, and we even get our first death. Interesting to see an increase in embedded handheld/steadicam shots.
TV
The X-Files, s4e3 “Teliko“. At the very least, it led to a fun use of ChatGPT: making it tell me a few Bambara folktales.
Severance, s1e1-2. Really happy with the rewatch so far, connecting the tidbits that I didn’t know what to do with the first time around.
Mark Larson 