Feels like work kinda took over this week. Demanding mostly in just raw hours, but not really difficulty. Crawled to the finish (a walk to our favorite pizza place) and had a wild Friday napping on the couch. A good life, all in all.
BLAAP, Of the Trees, Freddy Todd, Volcanology. I like "LIFE CONTROL", puts a little snarl on my face.
Movies In the Cut. A sick romance and murder mystery all wrapped up. I didn't love it but I feel like it's so fresh and disorientingly different I eventually will.
X. Horror on the farm. Interesting commentary on ageism.
Trap. Good to see Hartnett explore so many moods and facets. Falls flat in the last 10-20 minutes or so, but plenty of fun beforehand.
Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning. A little flabby and dour. It's lost the spark of silliness that makes the franchise great. But the biggest setpieces were as good as you'll find.
One of those periods where life runs away with me and other things fall away. A busier period than usual. In the middle of the worst of it, I felt oversaturated and exhausted. After the fact, not too bad? There's a lesson in there.
All started on Sunday night a couple weeks ago, random dinner out at a new place… before leaving the next morning for a three-day work retreat the next morning. (One big adjustment: my wife travels for work much more often than I do, so it felt weird to be the one leaving her behind.)
Our company went up to MASS MoCA, and took over the museum. What a treat to have a place like that to ourselves. One morning, after a 5am wake-up, I got to have a James Turrell piece all to myself for a while. The huge Sol Lewitt collection was probably my fave, though.
Came back to reality and been playing catch-up since then. But I lucked into a concert on Friday with Caroline Shaw and Sō Percussion at BAM. Really awesome performance. Loved how they played with lamps, and used the instrument blankets to build out the set as the show went on.
Last Saturday and Sunday, I took a two-day workshop about weaving at the Textile Arts Center. I know how to use a loom now! Started from yarns, measured out the warps, strung it all up, and then played with different patterns.
Mission accomplished for me: I have a much, much deeper appreciation for the history of the tradition, and the incredible labor and thoughtfulness that goes into this craft. And I'm really happy with how my little sampler turned out:
I continue to be Twitter-less or Twitter-lite these days, keeping it desktop-only. Yesterday I put it back on my phone, stayed up too late scrolling for nothing in particular… and then woke up and immediately started scrolling for nothing in particular lol. It's amazing to watch the casino addiction re-form so quickly – deleted again!
Books Rainbows End. Library loan expired. Guess I gotta buy it now.
Mississippi Schools Are Better Than Yours. "Painting the Deep South as an embarrassing cultural backwater is one of the last socially acceptable forms of prejudice among elites."
Bela Fleck, Zakir Hussain, Edgar Meyer, The Melody of Rhythm. It's an interesting mash-up from insanely talented people, but I don't think it's a successful one?
Movies State of Play. Fun re-watch. Journalism can be really compelling – underdogs, persistence, troublemaking.
Practical Magic. Totally charming! Really enjoyed it, and appreciated how many odd little turns it took, and tension drawn out from people who aren't sure why they're behaving the way they are. And briefly, one of the best road trip scenes you'll ever see.
The Order. Really like this one, too. A crime drama that's not quite gritty or grim, just... worn down? (And maybe I need a mustache again...)
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One. Desert sandstorm shootout is really cool, the chase scene with the little yellow car is still perfect, and so is the fight in the narrow alley. Warming up for the grand finale.
TV
The X-Files, s4e16 "Unrequited". Vietnam vets again!
Reacher, s3e4. Reacher is too sociopathic. I'll still finish the season, I think.
I don't remember when I took Twitter off of my phone. A month ago, a month and change? It's become more like a weekly treat on a Saturday or Sunday morning on the laptop. I feel like I'm missing out on a ton, but mostly don't think about it. I feel less distracted, less twitchy, reading more, having fewer "where did the evening go?" moments. It's a good change.
Books
Rainbows End, cont.. Favorite part so far is this idea of reviving people afflicted with Alzheimer's, what they might experience as they return to full understanding of the world.
Running
A fun week of running – a Sunday long run visit to Marine Park and the salt marsh, another touring through Red Hook this morning. Running with new friends, a sunset run on Tuesday and an impromptu club run before work on Friday. It's felt pleasantly erratic.
"The TikTokers documenting themselves wading into the sea, reading by the beach, drinking espresso, and riding Vespas for the sake of #eurocore are live-action role-playing Europeanness, in Europe. Which is, of course, what tourists have been doing for centuries."
Movies
Gone Girl. Fourth viewing (my notes on the previous three). It has such a mesmerizing pace. The media angle really struck me this time, the need to play to the cameras.
Ex Machina. Third viewing (the first two). Felt a little impatient this time, but I think I appreciate each of the individual performances more. Nuanced work.
Felt like a bit of auto-pilot this week, activities on most evenings and packed days in between.
Books Bright Young Women by Jessical Knoll. A little disappointed in the end, as it veered away from what I was most interested in, but it kept me turning pages, and that's victory enough.
Running
A return to a higher-mileage week after winter dormancy. Also ran with a group from the office, which was novel. (Running in Manhattan at 6pm is really annoying!)
Explored a new park this morning, a rare bit of quiet.
Sinners. Overstuffed to its benefit and detriment. A lot to say but I don't now what it means to say. At its best when leaning into music-video excess and reality-bending. Too many endings!
Flow. Pleasant and kinda boring. Like watching someone play an open-world video game, but more aimless and cloying. Beautiful, though.
Dark City. Second watch, just as good as the first. A weird little masterpiece.
A Poem
"Walk On" by Donna Carnes
You walk on
Still beside me
Eyes shadowed in dusk;
You’re the
Lingering question
At each day’s end.
I have to laugh
At how
Open-ended you remain
Still with me
After all these years
Of being lost.
I carry you like
My own personal
Time Machine,
As I put on my lipstick, smile,
And head out to
The party.
Did my taxes last week, a capstone on an other wise perfect Sunday: awake early, reading and writing in bed for a bit, morning walk, personal admin, afternoon run, pizza, movie, nap, dinner, reading until bedtime.
I got audited by ChatGPT this week, now that it has ability to remember and consider previous chats. I played with a few questions I've seen floating around:
Describe me based on all our chats – play it straight.
(necessary follow-up when LLM was trying to butter me up:) I don't see much criticism there. Feels like you're soft-pedaling a bit…?
Based on everything I’ve ever asked you, what do you think my biggest blind spots are?
I got the kind of accurate criticism that makes you squirm but where you also quickly 'fess up to it – embarrassed laughter, easy recognition of my best and worst.
Art
Yesterday after visiting a new diner, we went to see Amy Sherald: American Sublime at the Whitney. I'd previously seen her work collected at Spelman Museum in Atlanta and a couple years later at Hauser & Wirth in LA. I don't know many other artists where I've been able to revisit the work in person over a few years, and see them refine and iterate and grow during my actual lifetime.
I signed up for a two-day weaving workshop at the Textile Arts Center next month. It's been a consistent interest for a few years, just as an appreciator of the craft. Can't wait to get hands-on and learn more. I've also been taking more photos lately. I have no method or philosophy that I know of. I just like trying to capture things that might look interesting? And that's enough for me right now – feels good to be a carefree dabbler.
Books
Bright Young Women. Re-visited, found my way in.
Running
Really enjoying my early evening runs before dinnertime. And this morning I had best run-walk ever, wife by my side, cold breeze, warm sun, flowering trees in bloom. Perfect start to the day.
Articles & Episodes & Twoots
I've been off Twitter for a couple weeks now, and generally drew back from online inputs this week. I'm liking this change. I'll be back later I'm sure.
"i think creative people ramp up when they lean into their pretentiousness. creativity is supposed to let you be someone you're not (but aspire to). admit that beauty moves you, that footnotes excite you, that you think art matters. 'I do have taste and i'm not ashamed of it.'"
Music
Vega Trails, Sierra Tracks. Folk/chamber music – double-bass and saxophone and drums and orchestra – that would be perfect for a soundtrack. Probably my favorite of the week. I like "Murmurations".
Or maybe it was John Carroll Kirby, Septet? Tightly-written jazz with a bit of funk exocita. Dig the bookends, "Rainmaker" and "Nucleo".
Abercrombie, Hammer, DeJohnette, Timeless. A bit more jam-jazz than I typically respond to. I like "Red and Orange", though.
Terje Rypdal, Chaser. Is this easy listening? Or a predecessor? "Once Upon a Time" typifies the spacy, jazzy, noodly vibe.
Eberhard Weber, Endless Days. Jazz bass, didn't stick with me.
Movies The Clock (1945). Charming. Strangers meet in NYC, have some adventures, fall in love. I love the willingness to let linger on their faces. The elation when they found each other at the train station! It will probably make my end-of-year lists.
Dawn of the Dead (2004). Pretty good! You got your reliable people, you got your flakes, you got your bad decisions, you got your relentless zombies. I don't need the body horror stuff, but the dread and close calls are dialed-in.
Small Things Like These. Gentle, heavy, dark, hopeful. Powerfully acted without being loudly acted.
TV
The X-Files, s4e14 "Memento Mori". Very worried about whatever deal was made with the Cigarette-Smoking Man.
This was an exhausting week at work, and that sort of vacuumed up all the energy I might have put elsewhere. Took on some work in a new area, straight to the deep end, trying to absorb context on the fly. Add in our usual backlog and a critical incident or three, and poof, the workdays fly right by… and continued into the night a few times. It's nice to know that, when needed, I can just crank out a 12-hour day and come back for another one. People are resilient!
This week I also had a last-minute hang with a friend in town, one I hadn't seen in a couple years. A huge and immediate boost. Highlight of the week.
Reflection #2 (1959), tapestry by Kay Sekimachi in plain-woven linen, cotton, and rayon.
Books
Life and Fate. Feels like I'm losing my grip on this book. Found myself skimming over, rushing through, attention drifting.
Bright Young Women (Knoll). A little bit of trashy killer thriller to liven things up. I think this will end up as DNF.
Running
One of the things that fell by the wayside this week. I did return to run club yesterday for a rainy 38° run over the Brooklyn and Williamsburg bridges. A familiar route, but made sure to liven things up for myself with a couple detours. Needed that dose of selfishness.
Jon Hopkins, Music for Psychedelic Therapy. On the lighter, wispier side of electronic vs. the pulsing EDM flavor of the previous.
Harms Way, Posthuman. Metal. "The Gift" is easily the least like the others, but I like it's nightmare-ish basement-of-horrors energy.
Movies
West Side Story. The first and only time I saw was when I was a kid, must have been elementary or middle school. I also played the Symphonic Dances from West Side Story orchestra suite in college. So it was fun to revisit a story I barely remember set to music I know really, really well. The brownface and accents are rough, but it's still a pretty lovely movie.
The Sacrament. Inspired by events at Jonestown. Gene Jones gives a tremendous performance. The rest of the movie, I could take or leave. The wikipedia is haunting enough on its own.
TV
The X-Files, s4e13 "Never Again". Scully wrestles with her inner demons by getting a tattoo.
Bosch, s1e3-4.
Severance, s2e10. Finale! I don't need another season, but I'd 100% tune in if we get one.
Abbott Elementary, s4e18. One of the funnier episodes I remember.
Yesterday we took a day trip to Washington D.C., which is a kind of trip I don't do often enough. I got the idea when I spotted a new exhibition at the Renwick Gallery, We Gather at the Edge: Contemporary Quilts by Black Women Artists. And so a couple months ago we scheduled a trip to see it, and I was so looking forward to it…
…and I left the building disappointed. I think I've long had resistance to political or activist or tribute art. There was plenty here. And I had trouble seeing past it. I remember having the ungenerous though for a few of them, "Why is this a quilt?". And leaning into my cynicism further, feeling like it was roughly equivalent to, e.g. bronze sculptures of military heroes. I like portraiture, but memorial work, message work, documentary work… not quite as much. So I left there feeling a little deflated. Nothing like the thrills I'd gotten from previousquilt stuff recently.
It's not fair, but that's the way it happens sometimes. I walk in with hopes and curiosity and it just doesn't land. But then we walked across the Mall (passing through huge protest crowds that renewed my faith in America a little bit), and saw some cool stuff at the National Gallery.
Books
Life and Fate, cont.. Enjoying the vignettes but also hoping to find some larger arc to hold on to.
Running
Enjoyed another evening trail run in the middle of the week, and a Friday evening run to fully transition away from the workaday work. I've not run with my run club much lately, for accidental reasons. It's funny how quickly the ties can dissolve if you don't regular invest in them. I bet when I go back again this week I'll think, "why did I ever fade out?"
Articles & Episodes & Twoots
"From 1984 to 1988, I worked in the Telephone Reference Division of the Brooklyn Public Library." (via) When I worked at a public library, reference work was one of the more stressful and satisfying parts of the job, a rollercoaster that could go from "How am I supposed to know?" to "I can't believe I pulled this off." in a few minutes.
Books The Modern Myths. DNF. I didn't expect this, but I think I wanted more essay-like editorializing/theorizing, and fewer academic analyses of other examples? Not bad, though.
My Brilliant Friend. DNF. Kind of amazing in its compulsive readability, very colorful, but I never felt like it was adding up to anything. I wonder if I'd feel differently with older protagonists.
Life and Fate. Enveloping so far. Might be my next Big Book™ for the year.
Finally got around to renewing my library card, so now I have Libby access again if this one falls by the wayside.
Articles & Episodes & Twoots
"Around a dozen members is the sweet spot of social motivation: small enough to know everyone, yet large enough that the group won’t collapse if one or two members’ enthusiasm wanes; small enough that you are not daunted by competing with the whole world, yet large enough that you still need to be on your toes to keep up." (via)
"Don't end the week with nothing. Prefer to work on things you can show. Prefer to work where people can see you. Prefer to work on things you can own." (via)
Music
Favorite of the week: Gino Vannelli, Brother to Brother. I first heard "I Just Wanna Stop" in the grocery store last week, and I just wanted to stop and tell you what I feel about it! So good!
Masahiro Takahashi, Humid Sun. Delicate electronic, like RPG village music.
Max Oazo, Moonessa, Once Upon a Time (Melodic House & Techno). Maybe I should listen to more remix albums? Played this a lot in work crunch-time this week. It's a good thing I've never tried any drugs – there's a plausible alternate timeline where I got lost in the club scene.
Movies Rumble Fish. A story of a younger brother and an older brother and forming yourself on your own. With the benefit of hindsight, a totally loaded cast. Matt Dillon! Nicolas Cage! Laurence Fishburne! Diane Lane! Dennis Hopper! Mickey Rourke! Sofia Coppola! Tom Waits!
Elevation. An economical monster thriller. I had fun with it.
His Girl Friday. Madcap screwball antics. I wish they still wrote dialogue like this.
Birth. I love the way this movie looks, and Nicole Kidman puts on a show. Disturbing and depressing.
Den of Thieves. Compared to my week 3 viewing, not quite as fun. I like seeing the MARTA trains scoot by during the shootout.
TV
Bosch, s1e2.
The Pitt, s1e1. Under-recognized part of being an E.R. doc is you must repeatedly walk away from people who are in crisis.
The Residence, s1e4. Just parachuting in for a quick taste. Good example of the power of storytelling by charismatic people.
Severance, s2e7-8. I'm glad that Gemma is no longer an icon, but something more grounded. Cool to see factory town roots of Lumon.
Words of Wisdom
"Breaking the problem down and then actually changing behavior to get different results works surprisingly well provided you’re willing to do it. Often success doesn’t come to us the way we want to receive it."
Movies Conclave. Modest gossipy drama that evaporated as soon as I turned the TV off. It sets the stage, puts the pieces in motion, and we see who is left standing. I see what they did there, with the ending, and with the way women step into and out of the action througout, but… it felt a little cheap, after so much petty personal conflict and politicking, it suddenly wanted us to care about ideas?
Drive-Away Dolls. Horny and juvenile, but I appreciate how they play with the transitions, soundtrack, and moments of heightened acting. The bit parts were the best parts.
Speak No Evil (2022). A vacation from hell (see: The Rental). Like many good horror movies, we build unsettling dread and discomfort from the small ways that people fail to trust their instincts around other people who constantly push the boundaries. "Because you let me." An incredibly uncomfortable climax, sickening. Not sure I could watch that again – I immediately swore it off – but the lead-up was great.
Red Riding: 1974. A journalist gets hooked on a case, pays the price. It's good.
Speak No Evil (2024). After I cooled down from watching the original, curiosity about the remake won me over. More straightforwardly dramatic, less tense. More of a character piece, with much more focus on our main villain.
Heretic. I really appreciate late-career Hugh Grant. Seems like he's having fun. Mounting stress, a rich conflict, and heroines that surprise you.
Bill Evans, From Left to Right. Jazz with piano and Rhodes piano and orchestra and it's all good.
TV
The X-Files, s4e11 "El Mundo Gira". Back from a little break, and the show is back on track. I loved this episode. In style, like a telenovela, heightened soap opera desperation, but with a chupacabra.
A week of ups and downs – a trail race, an injured finger, a random Sunday evening adventure, a 24-hour stomach flu, a miserable workday, an invigorating professional conference, a beautiful evening run, a long call with a friend. Let it come, let it be, let it go.
The highlight was finishing Middlemarch yesterday, in one long final push. It's one of those books where I'll miss living with the characters for so long, each of their personalities and arcs so vivid. Some overall themes in the book: the importance of who you marry, how community inertia can defeat or deflect idealism but also help you find purpose and place, how financial struggles can multiply your frustrations, the value of a happy compromises and ordinary virtues.
Books The Faerie Queene. Just dipped my toe in. We'll see if it lasts.
Middlemarch. Finally done, loved it. One last round of quotes:
"He distrusted her affection; and what loneliness is more lonely than distrust?"
"The lights were all changed for him both without and within."
"What we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope."
"He had begun to perceive that Mr. Brooke’s mind, if it had the burthen of remembering any train of thought, would let it drop, run away in search of it, and not easily come back again."
"He looked almost angry. It had seemed to him as if they were like two creatures slowly turning to marble in each other’s presence, while their hearts were conscious and their eyes were yearning."
"If youth is the season of hope, it is often so only in the sense that our elders are hopeful about us; for no age is so apt as youth to think its emotions, partings, and resolves are the last of their kind. Each crisis seems final, simply because it is new."
"Caleb was very fond of music, and when he could afford it went to hear an oratorio that came within his reach, returning from it with a profound reverence for this mighty structure of tones, which made him sit meditatively, looking on the floor and throwing much unutterable language into his outstretched hands."
"It was one of those gray mornings after light rains, which become delicious about twelve o’clock, when the clouds part a little, and the scent of the earth is sweet along the lanes and by the hedgerows."
"He was now a prey to that worst irritation which arises not simply from annoyances, but from the second consciousness underlying those annoyances, of wasted energy and a degrading preoccupation"
"For the majority, who are not lofty, there is no escape from sordidness but by being free from money-craving, with all its base hopes and temptations, its watching for death, its hinted requests, its horse-dealer’s desire to make bad work pass for good, its seeking for function which ought to be another’s, its compulsion often to long for Luck in the shape of a wide calamity."
"Rosamond played the quiet music which was as helpful to his meditation as the plash of an oar on the evening lake."
"that beneficent harness of routine which enables silly men to live respectably and unhappy men to live calmly"
"Damme if I think he meant to turn king’s evidence; but he’s that sort of bragging fellow, the bragging runs over hedge and ditch with him"
"There is no sorrow I have thought more about than that—to love what is great, and try to reach it, and yet to fail."
"Shallow natures dream of an easy sway over the emotions of others"
"We are on a perilous margin when we begin to look passively at our future selves."
"The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs."
"Beyond interactivity, what a video game promises is not just rendered image and sound, not just narrative, not even just the joy of play, but inhabitation of an imaginal realm that is both deeply interior and collectively shared."
Movies Touch of Evil. Dynamic and quickly-moving, everything tainted.
TV
Scandal, s1e1. Speaking of quickly-moving, this is breakneck TV. "My gut tells me everything I need to know."
Bosch, s1e1. Felt good to dip back into the series, like putting on comfortable shoes.
Severance, s2e6. Burt is sketchy, huh. I liked the speculative fiction angles here: jealousy of yourself, jealousy of your partner's innie, innie/outie adultery, innies with souls distinct from their outies, etc..
