There are three kinds of critics: those who have importance; those who have less importance; those who have no importance at all. The last two kinds do not exist: all critics have IMPORTANCE.

[…]

How could one imitate a Critic? I ask myself that. Well, at any rate, the interest in doing so would be rather thin–very thin: we have the original–HE IS SUFFICIENT.

A Hymn in Praise of the Critics: Those Whistling Bell-Buoys Who Indicate the Reefs on the Shores of the Human Spirit, by composer Erik Satie. Vanity Fair, September 1921 [pdf]. If you only know him via his Gymnopédies, you might not expect him to be such a goofball.