I’m fairly open to reading ‘girly’ books every now and then (see my reviews of Heidi Klum’s Body of Knowledge, How to Walk in High Heels, and The Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend). A friend of mine got me to read He’s Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. It’s a quick, fun read, and I think both sexes could benefit from it.
Perhaps there are limits to the no-nonsense approach. Co-author Greg Behrendt (writing with Liz Tuccillo) doesn’t have a whole lot of room for forgiveness, but you have to admire that he takes happiness so seriously. If you don’t set your own rules, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. There’s a lot of motivational talk (you are beautiful, you deserve the best, etc.). But while the message is insistent, the book doesn’t take itself too seriously. The end-of-chapter “worksheets” are delightful parodies of the usual junk in self-help books.
Here’s a good bit on drug-addled relationships: “So, he’s always stoned when he’s with you… You’re going out with someone that doesn’t enjoy you at your full levels. That’s tantamount to him liking you better when you’re in the other room.”
So maybe he’s super busy with work and school and gets a little tense and lashes out: “I don’t care if he’s studying to become the next Messiah. There is no reason to yell at anyone ever, unless you are screaming ‘Look out for that bus!'”
On breaking up and futile waiting & wishing: “100% of men polled said that when they broke up with someone, it always meant that they didn’t want to go out with them anymore.” Cold, hard truth.
On resistance to marriage: “You are allowed to have aspirations for your future and to know whether the relationship you’re in is going to take you closer to those aspirations or be the demise of them.” And that’s just generally good life advice.