Things That Wake Up My Baby:

  • the sound of me pouring milk on my cereal
  • sneezing
  • the door closing
  • the dog barking at invisible squirrels
  • a spoon stirring cream into coffee
  • his own arms moving involuntarily

Things That Do Not Wake Up My Baby:

  • the microwave
  • the screams of people getting brutally murdered on television
  • books falling on the floor
  • the dog barking at actual men outside our house
  • loud laughter
  • power drills being used in the next room