We often buy ‚ÄúI Can‚Äôt Believe It‚Äôs Not Butter‚Äù despite its awful name and soul-withering chemical composition. Even the product‚Äôs faux-entertaining site refers to it as a ‚Äúnutritious blend of oils.‚Äù… In fact, we just bought the ‚Äúlight‚Äù version of it, which is therefore some sort of simulacrum of the original.

There’s some great naming suggestions in the comments.

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